Dear God, I'm High
by Appleinn4
Summary: After Blaine finnaly deals with his alchohalism Thad decides to get him into another crime. This time with drugs. A sequal to my number one fic "Dear God, I'm Drunk". Rated M for a many many reasons


A/N: Okay so I am a big fucking dumbass and posted this without any A/N's and no disclaimer. So if you were wondering what happened there now you know. I know a bunch of people were hoping "I would write a sequal and this is it. There is going to be drugs you inhale so dont be dumbass and review "But its called dear god im **high** and they inhale" Just dont. Dear god, I inhaled wouldnt be a good name. Okay there are going to be a few marajuana chapters in a row and then I'll move on to other drugs. Not sure how many im going to get to though.

Disclaimer: Okay Im pretty glee isnt a porn what does that tell you?

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><p>Chapter One<p>

Marajuana

**Ding,Dong,You're My Bitch **

"Dude, no I'm dating Kurt now and I can't go smoke pot" I said sternly to Thad

"common, here look at this stash I've got it right up in my bag" Thad pressured showing me a Ziploc baggy filled with stuff like looked like dried out mashed up grass"

I have always wanted to try it, and I know what you're thinking it's sick. But ever since I stopped drinking I've wondered if anything else could make me feel like a magical narwhal robot getting attacked by a mammoth and totally kicking its ass

"Fine, just this one time" I said

Thad jumped in the air and then motioned for me to follow him

He led me down into a wash and then under a bridge where no one could see us.

"It's going to be dark in 5 hours" Thad said checking to make sure I was okay with it.

"Yeah, it's only going to take a few minutes" I said matter of factly trying to act like I know everything about getting high.

Really all I knew what that it required some dry grass and

Old homework paper with a unicorn drawn on it

Thad looked up from his backpack at me with wide eyes before putting his palm against his forehead and shaking his head 'no'. Then he grabbed a box and handed me a piece of paper that was very thin and just a small square

"Where's the unicorn?" I said looking at the piece of paper and flipping it and softly bending it looking for a pink and rainbow horn.

"STOP, you're going to rip the paper!"Thad yelled gently taking the paper from my hand

"But Thad, I want it!" I said blubbering like a little baby school boy in a blue sailor suit

"Oh fine, BUT BE CAREFUL! If you tear it then it will be like sucking a bear threw a cactus!" Thad said watching me examine the paper.

"Here's the weed" Thad said handing me a small amount of crushed up crap from the bag

"But what about the rest of it? I want the rest of it!" I whined

"It's a flower not a leaf so we don't have to use as much and it's better quality, and anyways it's stupid to smoke to whole bag at once, You'd die"

"ohhhhhhh, scary" I said sucking my thumb

"Just put it in like this" Thad said helping me put the weed onto the paper

"And roll, and then do this and this. Okay, done!" Thad said grabbing a lighter and torching the blunt

"You do the honors" Thad nodded handing me the blunt

He motioned how to do it with his hands and I copied. Then I passed it to him and he copied

"This is bullshit I don't feel anything" I bitched now doubting the blunts magical Narnian powers

"It takes a while to work, in just a few more puffs you should start to feel different"

So I waited and waited and after we passed back and forth the joint I started to feel weird. All my senses heightened and I felt like I was chewing 5 gum. Everything around me glowed and I felt like super hero on a Tuesday eating a donut and having sex with that one chick

"Dude what if we get caught, what If it kills me, what if the police find ou-" I said getting paranoid before Thad put his finger over my lips and shut me up.

"Or if a kangaroo come, I'll have to ride on it and then who knows what will happen! I just can't handle the pressure!" I blurted out looking for any sign of the BFA.

"Just chill the fuck out, Blaine. You will be fine"

"Don't cuss you little fucker!" I screamed at Thad and started to cry. I cried for about ten minutes before Thad finally shut me up and said

"God you have been crying for 2 hours! I'm leaving!"

"No you're not" I said standing up and getting close to Thad, who had stopped and turned around to say

"And why is that cumface?

"Because...YOU'RE MY BITCH!" I screamed skimming my hand along his lower chin neck thangy ma bobber goosha.

"Damn, you got me again!" Thad yelled before sitting down

"1000000 points for Blainey-bear!"I screamed

"Damn, bye"Thad said turning away for the fucking thousandth time today.

"Sit down bitch!" I screamed and waited for Thad to sit down

I walk over and sat on his right thigh and started to suck my thumb before looking at him with puppy dog eyes and saying

"For Christmas I want a pony, a unicorn, a gays r us in Lima, another pony, 5 more ponies, like 3 and a half unicorns and a butterfly that can shoot rainbows!"

"Well um, o fucking Kay "Thad smiled with his glistening yellow teeth showing.

"Dude, by a shitting toothbrush"

"Dude how would my mouth get clean with a toothbrush that shits all over my mouth?"

"You know what I fucking meant"

"Yeah you meant that...you're gay!"

"Great fucking comeback you dumbshit"

"Great fucking comeback comeback you cunt"

"Okay, I'm bored what do you want to do?"

"Something gay"

"Okay let's go eat a rainbow unicorn"

"Hmm there's a great bratwurst restaurant close by."

"Nah let's go ding dong ditch some shitters!"

"Fuck Yeah!"

Off Thad and I raced to a shit tactic town in Lima, the fuck city.

"Dude this place is like Beverly Hills" Thad said looking at the view of an alley with shit covering the floor and rubbish receptacle that read "feed the needy"

"God you're a fucking shit master giant"

"And you're a dwarf you rainbow fucker"

"Okay let's go find shity house"

"No I wanna a silly bunny house"

We walked around before seeing a grey house, we saw a lady across the street get out of a car with a dress out and legs spread

"IT'S LINDSAY LOHAN!" Thad screamed before grabbing my collar and hiding behind a bush.

After the lady stopped yelling at us (that fucking bitch) we went to the house and I decided to go first.

I rang the door bell and ran for my fucking life.

An old man came out and started yelling, so I pulled my juicy cock out and yelled "SUCK MY HAIRY HARRY POTTER DICK MOTHERFUCKER!"

We ran into the wash, I started to feel more and more normal but I still didn't regret showing my sexy ass dick to an old sexilicious man.

"Well I'm just going to shove my dick into Kurt's tight ass, bye Thad" I said before walking off into the sunset.

"IM A BADASS YOU FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING FUCKING BITCH!"

I heard Thad yell from below.

That's nice Thad.

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><p>Reviews much needed and if you have an idea for a chapter please PM or leave a review. That would be totally awesome<p> 


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